Sophie Boudreau remembers the moment school first set her apart. A first grader was sent to a fifth-grade room and told to choose a “more appropriate” chapter book. The choice felt exciting, yet the separation carried a quieter message. She was different, and adults would reinforce that difference through labels, rooms, and praise. Years later, she would describe in HuffPost how early accolades shaped her self-image, her perfectionism, and her sense of belonging. This article tells that story, while placing her reflections within research on gifted children and gifted programs. It draws on trusted sources that examine access, equity, and long-term outcomes. It also considers the social and emotional costs that can shadow advanced placement. The goal is not to dismiss challenge or enrichment.
It is to weigh how systems built for acceleration can also narrow identity, amplify pressure, and leave many peers outside the door. In elementary school, the “gifted” label gave Boudreau a key to schoolwork that she found more interesting. It also separated her from classmates who stayed behind while she left the room. Over time, that separation became part of how she understood herself and how others understood her. Her experience mirrors the evolution of gifted education in the United States, where definitions and standards have gradually been formalized. The National Association for Gifted Children describes gifted students as those who perform, or can perform, at higher levels and who need modified educational experiences to realize potential. That means kids can be gifted in many areas, and that schools should find them fairly. But the way selection works can still mark who is “in” and who is “out,” and she felt that from a very young age.
The Warm Gifted & Talented Room and Its Hidden Boundaries
Her Gifted and Talented room felt like a haven. It was creative, warm, and safe. Her teacher invited students to fold their own interests into class projects. That kind of support helps kids stay curious and engaged. Researchers call it responsive enrichment, since teaching adapts to each learner. Later, she realized many classmates never got through that same door. A well-known study by Grissom and Redding looked at who gets identified. It found that Black students were still passed over even with similar test scores.
The gap narrowed when students had a same-race teacher, which suggests that educator discretion can either widen or close access. In those cases, more Black students were recommended for services. So her cozy classroom sat inside a larger, unequal system. It offered comfort to students who made it in. Yet it also reflected policies and habits that kept others out. Comfort for some coexisted with exclusion for many others. She can love the room and still see the boundaries around it.
The Search for Praise and Perfection
She learned to chase adult approval because praise was heaped on her quickly and often. When a concept did not click, she hesitated to ask for help. The label of “gifted child” suggested she should know everything already, which made her struggle feel like a secret. Modern psychology has linked performance pressure to increases in perfectionistic thinking among young people. The American Psychological Association has reported growing costs tied to achievement culture, including anxiety related to constant evaluation. Meta-analytic work suggests that giftedness does not automatically raise anxiety or depression on average, yet individuals vary, and brittle self-worth can form when identity depends on constant success.
Boudreau’s feelings fit this mixed pattern, where many cope well, but some become more fragile when praise is the priority. Over time, being considered one of the gifted children can shift a child from learning goals to performance goals. Learning goals invite effort and mistakes, while performance goals demand proof on every task. That shift changes self-talk in quiet, powerful ways. A tough problem becomes a threat to identity, not a chance to grow. Help seeking then feels like exposure, which keeps confusion hidden and unaddressed. You can see why anxiety rises when praise becomes the fuel. The antidote is simple to describe, yet hard to practice. Adults need to praise strategies and persistence, and students need space to practice struggle without shame.
The Pursuit of Excellence Can Limit Experimentation
As expectations grew, she kept hearing that gifted children should excel at everything. That message can quietly affect experimentation, since early mistakes feel like proof of failure. Many gifted students then chase perfect results and avoid any potential risks that might dent their status. Research has linked this pattern to high standards mixed with sharp self-criticism, which ends up draining any joy. However, clearer support can change the path. Teachers can praise strategies, not outcomes, and model how experts learn from errors. Short, low-stakes tasks let students try new skills without fear of judgment. Rubrics can include effort, reflection, and revision, so progress earns credit. Mentors can share their own first drafts and near misses. Families can normalize tutoring and office hours as smart tools, not rescue plans. With this coaching, mistakes become useful feedback, and students keep experimenting longer.
From Exceptional to a Small Fish
College flipped the script for her. Suddenly, she was one of many high achievers, not the standout in the group of her peers. Praise came rarely, and decent grades felt confusing after years of perfect scores. That mismatch bruised confidence and stirred real anxiety. Research has indicated that there is no single mental-health pattern for gifted students, only wide variation. Some adjust well, while others struggle when identity depends on rank or awards. Yet targeted supports can soften that drop. First-year seminars can help teach seeking help as a normal skill. Advisors can set clear expectations and model how to recover from setbacks. Study groups, writing centers, and office hours can turn isolation into routine contact. Feedback that highlights process and iteration helps students rebuild pride in learning. With that scaffolding, challenge feels workable again, and confidence grows from practice, not labels.
The Fulbright Year
After graduation, an external honor briefly restored direction. A selective teaching grant offered validation, but it also delayed a harder question. Who was she without perfect grades, advanced classes, or the next award? Research on gifted education reminds us that academic programs mostly measure achievement and sometimes neglect identity work. Scholars urge schools to integrate social and emotional learning so that students build resilience, autonomy, and healthy coping. Additionally, reviews from gifted-education centers emphasize that well-being programs can strengthen engagement and academic outcomes. Boudreau needed those skills earlier, so that feedback felt informative instead of defining. She now believes that support is central to a humane approach in Gifted Programs.
Equity and Opportunity
Boudreau later read research that softened the success story she once believed. A major 2021 study linked typical Gifted Programs to small gains in reading and math. The same study found no clear improvement in school engagement or day-to-day enthusiasm. Benefits also clustered among higher-income white students, which echoed the access gaps she had noticed. The findings did not cancel local wins, but they did challenge broad claims that participation alone changes long-term outcomes. The study design compared similar students and adjusted for background differences. That approach aimed to separate the effect of the program from the effect of the advantage.
Even so, the pattern remained modest and uneven. This points away from a single fix and toward a full toolkit. Identification must be fair, and instruction must be rich and responsive. Students also need support that protects motivation and confidence when work gets harder. Policy choices can tilt results in either direction. Universal screening widens the pool of identified gifted children. Multiple measures reduce the odds that one test mislabels a student. Strong curricula keep challenges meaningful, while counseling and teacher coaching protect well-being. Put together, these steps make small academic gains more durable and more fairly shared.
How Identification Shapes Who Gets Served
Her attention kept returning to the doorway, since entry rules shape futures. When access relies on teacher referrals or parent advocacy, bias can creep in. Universal screening helps because every child is considered, not only the most visible few. Districts that screen everyone identify many more low-income and minority students who already meet the bar. That change broadens classrooms and strengthens programs with a wider mix of talent. Fair systems also use more than one measure. Schools can pair short ability checks with classroom work samples and growth data across the year.
Local norms compare students with peers in the same school, which can reveal standout potential that national cutoffs miss. Multilingual learners need translated directions and nonverbal tasks, so skills are not hidden by vocabulary gaps. Twice-exceptional students need pathways that recognize high potential alongside disability supports. Timing matters as well. A single snapshot in grade two can miss late bloomers. Regular rescreening in later grades gives students another chance to be seen. Clear communication with families, in multiple languages, reduces confusion and builds trust. Training on bias and identification improves daily decisions. Schools can also allow self-nomination so motivated students can step forward.
Protecting Well-Being in Gifted Classrooms
Her ideal Gifted and Talented classroom would keep the curiosity and choice she loved, and add clear supports for well-being. Researchers recommend teaching that normalizes struggle, encourages help-seeking, and builds self-compassion, because those habits sustain effort. University centers report that social and emotional programs can lift attitudes toward school and improve engagement. Studies of perfectionism also show that guided reflection can reset standards and ease harsh self-criticism. None of this lowers rigor. It changes the story students tell themselves about difficulty and helps them treat mistakes as useful feedback. With that foundation, Boudreau believes her college transition would have felt steadier, and adulthood less tied to grades or titles.
The Meme of the “Formerly Gifted Kid”
Online, the “formerly gifted kid” meme jokes about grown adults who once aced school yet now feel stuck, anxious, or exhausted. Posts often show a tidy desk, a looming deadline, and a caption about freezing until the last minute. Others joke about crying over a B, hoarding unused planners, or quitting hobbies the moment progress stalls. The humor lands because it turns private fear into a shared wink. What the meme captures is a pattern, not a diagnosis. Many people learned early to treat praise as proof of worth. When that praise faded, they felt unsure how to learn without a gold star. Some protected their status by avoiding risks or hiding confusion.
Others chased perfect results and then burned out. The meme compresses that long arc into a punch line that says, “I see you.” The research picture is more mixed and more hopeful. Being labeled gifted does not doom anyone to anxiety or depression. Outcomes depend on context, feedback, and support. Programs that normalize struggle and teach help-seeking change the slope over time. So does broad, fair identification that welcomes different kinds of talent. Read the meme as a signal, not a sentence. It points to design choices schools can improve, and habits any adult can practice now.
Read More: Why Highly Intelligent People Often Feel Less Fulfilled by Friendships
Rebuilding Identity
As an adult, she is practicing new habits that once felt unsafe. She asks for help early on, and she treats feedback as information. She lets herself be bad when she tries something new at first, then improves in small, steady steps. Each step loosens the grip of old labels and helps tie her confidence to her effort and growth. Researchers argue that social and emotional learning should sit inside gifted education from the start. When schools teach reflection, help-seeking, and self-compassion, students learn how to recover after hard days. That training keeps challenges high while protecting well-being. It also makes collaboration feel like strength, not a threat to status. This approach respects the many paths gifted children take.
Some lean into proofs and labs, while others light up in language, arts, or design. Many switch lanes as interests change. What they all need is permission to learn in public, to make repairs, and to try again. Teachers can model drafts and revisions, so mistakes look like normal steps. Families can praise strategies and persistence, so progress earns the loudest applause. She now builds identity on practice, not perfection. The work is slower, yet it is sturdier. Skills grow, confidence follows, and setbacks shrink from verdicts to data.
The Bottom Line
If she could speak to her younger self, Boudreau would explain that gifts are starting points, not guarantees. She would also say that curiosity and patience will take her further than praise. Research supports this posture. Equity studies show how fairer identification discovers overlooked talent. Outcome studies show that small academic gains need broader support to matter for more students. Social-emotional research shows why normalizing help-seeking protects learning when challenges grow. These strands pull together into a better model. It keeps high challenges while widening access and teaching students to hold identity more gently. That is how excellence and health can grow together.
Disclaimer: This article was created with AI assistance and edited by a human for accuracy and clarity.